A Passion for Community Service

The family law attorneys at Ward Potter LLC, share a passion for community service. Each attorney spends time outside of the office serving individuals and organizations in and around the Wichita community. Previous community service projects include leading a mentorship project with Hamilton Middle School. In 2012, Ward Potter (previously Ward Law Offices, LLC), was honored with the Wichita Public Schools Board of Education Good Apple Award for excellence in service to students. In addition to their collective community service work, each attorney at Ward Potter serves in various ways individually in Wichita and across Kansas.
Below is a sampling of some of the organizations our attorneys and staff work with to improve our community and help the people in our community in need of not only legal services but help in other areas of life.

Junior League of Wichita

Lynn Ward is not only the Managing Partner of Ward Potter LLC. She is a Past President of the Junior League of Wichita. Lynn and the staff of Ward Potter were pleased to support the Junior League of Wichita in their fight against child abuse by supporting the Junior League of Wichita’s 16th Annual Holiday Galleria, a shopping experience for the whole family October 3-6, 2019 at Century II in downtown Wichita.

The 3rd Annual Show Pride in Your Ride Car Show was an unforgettable evening! With the support of our guests and donors we raised over $2400 for OK Elementary School and Black Traditional Elementary! Special thanks to the following businesses who donated wonderful items for the raffle or provided support of our event: Hereford House, Plastic Surgery Center, Hall’s Culligan, South Central Kansas Mustang Club, Joe’s Car Wash, USD 259, Big Tool Store, and Janet Evans.

On Friday, March 29th Ward Potter LLC and the Wichita Thunder joined forces to support the Guadalupe Clinic at Intrust Bank Arena.

The 2018 Show Pride in Your Ride event was held on Friday, September 7. All proceeds from the 2018 event benefited Pando. The Pando Initiative has been successfully connecting with more than 200,000 students in area schools since 1990. Their core model focuses on individual students who are struggling with school and life. They position a dedicated staff member inside partner schools in Wichita, Derby and Haysville public schools.

On September 15, 2017 Ward Law Offices hosted the first annual Show Pride In Your Ride car show. Show Pride In Your Ride was an informal, non-judged car show for friends, neighbors and colleagues of Ward Law Offices, LLC. During the event, Ward Law partnered with officials from United Methodist Open Door who held a raffle. Car Show attendees were able to purchase tickets for a chance to win a Richard Petty Driving Experience at Kansas Speedway. All proceeds from the evening’s raffle benefited Open Door. The focus of Open Door is to meet the basic needs of people in poverty. Their Homeless Resource Center, at 402 E. 2nd Street, is a daytime assistance center for the homeless, where individuals receive case management, a daily meal, access to showers, laundry and storage facilities, and mail service.

Passion Projects – Two Lives at a Time & The Refugee/Immigrant Outreach Team

Lynn Ward, Board of Directors of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and Stephen Blaylock, fellow of the Kansas Chapter of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers present a check to Laura Roddy, President of Junior League of Wichita; and Jessica Williams, Junior League of Wichita grant writing  chair. Ward was presenting to Roddy a check for $5000 from the AAML Foundation for the JLW Two Lives at a Time project. The Junior League of Wichita and the Wichita Children’s Home will help teen moms develop crucial life skills, including how to build healthy relationships and effective parenting practices.

The Five Tenets: Tenet Three- Being Positive

 

Being positive.

Before I get started on this, I want to address toxic positivity. The definition seems to be no matter the circumstances, a person maintains a positive attitude. The pushback is being positive all the time overrides emotions somehow lessening them. I think the pushback is well intended, but misplaced because:

  1. “Toxic” is a strong word. I could see “overly positive”, “too positive”, or even “annoyingly positive”. But toxic implies that something is poisonous or harmful;
  2. We must remember that if someone is being positive that is their emotion. Our reaction to their positivity is our emotion; and
  3. Simply labeling something as “toxic positivity” seems like an easy way to dismiss a point of view.

The above tends to ignore the benefit of what being positive can do to help your mindset and your communication. My grandma would have said throwing out the baby with the bathwater, and she was much brighter than me so I will not try to improve on the saying. I will simply say someone that seems to be positive all the time probably is not, and if we believe humans genuinely try to be good people most of the time, then perhaps we should give the person some grace (more on that later) and see the benefit in what they are saying. You know, to approach it with positivity?

Now granted, the idea of showing gratitude daily and looking for the good in every situation can be daunting. And for me, writing down those gratitudes each day can become a chore. I mean, you can only write “sunshine, happiness and hope” so many times. It can be counter-productive because we are not reflecting on the situation. Added to that, we are not giving ourselves the chance to feel positive and negative emotions, both of which help us regulate how we communicate.

Okay, so now that we have the preliminaries out of the way, how about we address the tenet of being positive? I think the idea should be that if we try to approach the situation with a good attitude, not expecting the worst, or see a bad intent behind someone’s actions, then perhaps we have a chance to see the situation from a different angle. To think about something critically instead of having a pre-formed opinion, and not allow ourselves to decide beforehand what was a problem before will continue to be a problem now.

That last part is tough. History can be a difficult thing to get past if we can get past certain parts of it at all. I consider myself a student of history but lately I am coming to realize that I was a part of the history that was made. If that history has a negative connection for me, it might have a negative connection for the other person too. Perhaps the best way to deal with it is to examine it, look at the role I had in that negative connection, and see if there is anything I can do so it does not continue to be negative. Because, again, if it was not working before, why continue to do it that way? That’s just dumb, and I don’t want to feel dumb. It makes me think negatively about myself and others.

The tricky part is changing how we think. We talked before about mindset, and how we train our minds over the years to think one way or another. Added to that we have our brain chemistry and the physicality of how the brain works; always trying to save us from dangerous situations. But most of the time the difficult communication we are having with someone is not dangerous. It can be hard, emotionally upsetting, and not something that should continue. But maybe if we approached that conversation from a positive standpoint first and make sure we keep our boundaries (see how these all fit together?), then the communication does not degenerate to that point.

So, what can we do to be more positive? For me, these ideas seem to help:

  • None of us are unique. I know that stings, but we all have fears, wants, and needs, and agendas.
  • Recognizing I am not unique helps me to remember the other person might not simply abandon their fears, wants, needs and agendas in favor of mine.
  • Recognizing the other person might actually (probably) think their fears, wants, needs and agendas are more important than mine.

The above is human nature and is usually not personal. Sometimes the other person is unable to get past their fears, wants, needs and agenda without first voicing them to you. They just need to say their piece. Not great, but it helps to think it is may not be directed at me. What is paramount is that their fears, wants, needs, and agenda are voiced. That they are heard, and that I hear them. Oftentimes it is not really whether I agree or not, but that I listened and heard what they said. Sometimes they end up talking themselves out of their own position.

If I respond negatively, I am likely to get negativity in return. That is an argument, not a discussion. Both have their place, but argument is convincing someone you are right by telling them why they are wrong. Most of us do not like being told why we are wrong and communicating with a negative attitude generally ensures it will not end well. When that happens, it can be difficult to get back to a place where communication and problem solving can occur.

For me, it is important to try and approach the communication with the idea things will work out. Maybe not work out perfectly or exactly how I want, but in the end, it will be okay. That is tough to sit with sometimes, especially when it feels like everything is coming apart, but please be patient.

That advice is hard to give, and harder to follow, but most of the time it works. It will take time and lots of practice. But it gets better. It will be okay. I am positive.


Tony A. Potter is a Member of Ward Potter LLC, where he uses his experiences in general civil, trial, and appellate practice to represent clients. Tony received his Juris Doctorate from Washburn School of Law in 1994 and has been continually licensed to practice law in Kansas since 1995. Tony is a member of the Kansas Bar Association, the Wichita Bar Association, the Northwest Kansas Bar Association, and the Chair of the Wichita Bar Association Family Law Committee. His commitment to his clients was also recognized in 2018 when he was acknowledged as an “AV” attorney, peer-rated for high professional achievement by Martindale-Hubbell, and he enjoys a 10.0 rating from the Avvo attorney website. Contact Tony

Ward Potter LLC is a family law firm located in Wichita, Kansas. Ward Potter handles divorce, child custody, parenting time, prenuptial and postnuptial agreements, visitation by grandparents, and paternity cases. The firm also provides litigation alternatives such as collaborative family law, mediation, and arbitration. The mission of Ward Potter LLC is to guide clients through changes in their families with empathy, excellence, and expertise. We strive to calm chaos and focus on the resolution, not the battle.

345 N. Riverview Ste 120 | Wichita, KS 67203
©2020 Ward Potter LLC
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A Passion for Community Service

The family law attorneys at Ward Potter LLC, share a passion for community service. Each attorney spends time outside of the office serving individuals and organizations in and around the Wichita community. Previous community service projects include leading a mentorship project with Hamilton Middle School. In 2012, Ward Potter (previously Ward Law Offices, LLC), was honored with the Wichita Public Schools Board of Education Good Apple Award for excellence in service to students. In addition to their collective community service work, each attorney at Ward Potter serves in various ways individually in Wichita and across Kansas.
Below is a sampling of some of the organizations our attorneys and staff work with to improve our community and help the people in our community in need of not only legal services but help in other areas of life.

Junior League of Wichita

Lynn Ward is not only the Managing Partner of Ward Potter LLC. She is a Past President of the Junior League of Wichita. Lynn and the staff of Ward Potter were pleased to support the Junior League of Wichita in their fight against child abuse by supporting the Junior League of Wichita’s 16th Annual Holiday Galleria, a shopping experience for the whole family October 3-6, 2019 at Century II in downtown Wichita.

The 3rd Annual Show Pride in Your Ride Car Show was an unforgettable evening! With the support of our guests and donors we raised over $2400 for OK Elementary School and Black Traditional Elementary! Special thanks to the following businesses who donated wonderful items for the raffle or provided support of our event: Hereford House, Plastic Surgery Center, Hall’s Culligan, South Central Kansas Mustang Club, Joe’s Car Wash, USD 259, Big Tool Store, and Janet Evans.

On Friday, March 29th Ward Potter LLC and the Wichita Thunder joined forces to support the Guadalupe Clinic at Intrust Bank Arena.

The 2018 Show Pride in Your Ride event was held on Friday, September 7. All proceeds from the 2018 event benefited Pando. The Pando Initiative has been successfully connecting with more than 200,000 students in area schools since 1990. Their core model focuses on individual students who are struggling with school and life. They position a dedicated staff member inside partner schools in Wichita, Derby and Haysville public schools.

On September 15, 2017 Ward Law Offices hosted the first annual Show Pride In Your Ride car show. Show Pride In Your Ride was an informal, non-judged car show for friends, neighbors and colleagues of Ward Law Offices, LLC. During the event, Ward Law partnered with officials from United Methodist Open Door who held a raffle. Car Show attendees were able to purchase tickets for a chance to win a Richard Petty Driving Experience at Kansas Speedway. All proceeds from the evening’s raffle benefited Open Door. The focus of Open Door is to meet the basic needs of people in poverty. Their Homeless Resource Center, at 402 E. 2nd Street, is a daytime assistance center for the homeless, where individuals receive case management, a daily meal, access to showers, laundry and storage facilities, and mail service.

Passion Projects – Two Lives at a Time & The Refugee/Immigrant Outreach Team

Lynn Ward, Board of Directors of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and Stephen Blaylock, fellow of the Kansas Chapter of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers present a check to Laura Roddy, President of Junior League of Wichita; and Jessica Williams, Junior League of Wichita grant writing  chair. Ward was presenting to Roddy a check for $5000 from the AAML Foundation for the JLW Two Lives at a Time project. The Junior League of Wichita and the Wichita Children’s Home will help teen moms develop crucial life skills, including how to build healthy relationships and effective parenting practices.

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